Costs of Adoption


To the Parents Who Just Found Out Their Daughter is Pregnant

Maybe you or she or even some well meaning friends might suggest that your daughter relinquish this baby to adoption and this will, no matter what you might have been lead to believe or what you might read in most publications, will NOT allow her to continue life as planned. By encouraging or supporting your daughter to relinquish her baby to adoption you are, in a most literally, sense helping to destroy the child you now know as your daughter.



Costs of Adoption: Increased Secondary Infertility Rates Infographic

According to multiple studies, women who relinquish a child to adoption are forty to sixty percent more likely to experience secondary infertility that other mothers. Adoption agencies, facilitators, and counselors are not requires to disclose this information to expectant mothers considering adoption – so of course, they don’t. Does that sound like helping people make INFORMED decisions to YOU?


Costs of Adoption: Genetic Mirroring

For those non adopted, it might seem easy to dismiss the importance of genetic mirroring since we do not have to think about it. It is just there. But it’s like saying that the air we breathe is not important because we don’t think about it and its just there. If we were to not have oxygen for even a few minutes, each and every one of us would be screaming to have it restored. Genetic mirroring is like that.


The Non Profit Adoption Agency Myth

It seems that many people want to believe that because many adoption agencies and adoption service professionals have the words ” non-profit” in their name, that they must somehow be exempt from any form of monetary corruption. While I am still hunting down the most recent report claiming the 13 billion dollars of profits in the adoption industry, to even see if the nonprofit numbers are included in the actual 13 billion, I decided to share a quick bit about nonprofit adoption services.


Birthmother’s Cake: What People Really Think About the Act of Selfless Love Called Adoption

Where Is All This Birthmother Cake They Speak of? The mysterious “Birthmother Cake” that birthmothers all expect to feast upon. Somehow, people actually believe that being separated from one’s child is easy and maybe even selfishly pleasurable? Pardon my pun, but do they think that relinquishment is actually a cakewalk?A mother is suppose to give her children away to more deserving parents, dry her tears, buck up and move on. She is suppose to leave the adoptive parents alone and “get over” herself.


The Weight of Adoption Baggage

I don’t pretend to know the secrets to get through this unscathed. I know there is no way not to carry this weight forever and not be affected. I know my soul will be heavy until the day I die and I expect that my eternal soul will know this loss for many lives hence. Yet, I have a measure of control, I think. We exist in a symbiotic way, my pain and I, this trauma and this hope, a sadness that fuels the fight. As of late, I find more new moms, wrecked with this pain find me, and I have little to offer, but my ramblings of what I think contributed to keeping me..me. I don’t know the answers, but I will share what I do know in hope that it perhaps, maybe, can help another navigate the journey.


Thinking About Adoption Affects on the “Kept” Child

When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. The pain and loss was to be mine to bear as Max would be “better off”, his father unaware, my brother and extended family equally as clueless and my mother, well she didn’t matter.. at least I was not give pause to consider how nay one else felt. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. Like we say, the “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children


What’s Wrong With the Adoption Tax Credit?

While the original adoption tax credit was created to benefit the adoptions of special needs children, successful lobbying from adoptive parents and the adoption lobbyists have increased the credit by both the amount refunded and the range of adoptions covered.
The Adoption Tax Credit now covers expenses paid in an unsuccessful attempt to adopt an child before finalizing the adoption of another child can qualify for the credit. The Adoption Tax Credit now applies to domestic and international adoptions.