• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

Birthmother, Good Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption

The Premier Adoption Relinquishment Brainwashing Training Guide

Just a few blurbs from Birthmother, Good  Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption:

“The fear of not having any idea of what becomes of their children is also an impediment to considering adoption. Some birthmothers are more open to adoption when they envision an adoption that will allow them to receive updates on their children’s well-being.”

“Birthmothers are concerned that if they choose to parent, their children will not have father and will miss out on a stable married family.”

“By choosing parenting birthmothers fear that they would become unwed, teenage mothers or dependent, single mothers.”

“After working through their fears and conflicts, birthmothers choose adoption because they believe is best for their children. They realized that adoption is not abandonment; it is a loving, responsible act. By choosing what is best for their children, birthmothers see themselves as good mothers. Instead of feeling like bad mothers were abandoning their children or “giving them away,” now they begin to see that placing their children with loving couples is what it means for them to be good mothers.”

“Birthmothers must be able to separate their children in their minds from themselves in order to arrive at a decision about what is best for their children.”

“She is proud of herself for helping to satisfy the adoptive parents longing for a child. She sees herself as a heroine, because she helped the couple was unable to have children.”

“In choosing adoption they can now see themselves as good mothers, the highest form of motherhood – the mother who chooses what is best for her child regardless of sacrifice it requires of her. In doing what is best for her child, she fulfills her need to see herself as a good mother and accept the pain of relinquishment. In this way, she transforms agony of the entire story into a redemptive experience where she becomes a heroine in her own eyes and in the eyes of others.”

Hard to believe? I know, but the fact is that this is considered acceptable adoption practices and training for pregnancy counselors to understand how to convince women that adoption is a loving option. It’s how they brainwash us. It says what we fear so they can exploit us. It explains how to take our fears and change them, so all roads lead to adoption relinquishment.

Advanced Adoption Research and Birthmother Studies

In 1999, the Family Research Council conducted research to understand the factors involved in considering adoption and how best to present adoption as a viable option for women.  In conjunction with the National Council for Adoption,  the Family Research Council focused on discovering the most basic impressions that women and counselors have about adoption and on the psychological dynamics of decision-making concerning adoption. The Missing Piece: Adoption Counseling in Pregnancy Resource Centers by Curtis J. Young is the result of that study.

Now they claim to have conducted MORE research for the Birthmother, Good  Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption, but after reading the two of them entirely, I believe that this new publication is still coming off of the original study. Both reports use the same copy for the methodology and both have the same research group, with the same number of participants in the same age ranges.  I see Birthmother, Good  Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption as a modified piece that demonstrates the actual twisting of the mind of a women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. It’s really like a “How to Create an Kool-Aide Drinking Happy Birthmother” guide. It’s really rather frightening. I’m not sure whether women are really that easily manipulative or we are just really stupid for falling for this. Or maybe it’s just all internal and they have managed to tap into it. All I can tell you is that this feels like reading the inside of my brain during the whole adoption process.

About Birthmother, Good  Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption

The original printed study is still available at the Family Research Council website , however, it will be a printed booklet. To my knowledge there is not a digital online version of this report to be found online…until now.

To create a digital version of this file, like The Missing Piece, I sat there and read the 23 page report out loud to my DragonSpeak headset and then edited the final copy for typos, missed words and formatting. I am sure there are mistakes that I missed. They have in pretty full color images, but they are just stupid stock photo shots, so I didn’t bother with them.

As I think it is very important that this kind of research is both available and public, I am posting the entire study here. Please note that the post is password protected only to ensure that it can remain  an accessible post as long as possible.

Please feel free to copy and paste sections as needed for blog posts, commentary, reference etc. Please do NOT post the whole thing in its entirety.  There is a PDF version of the whole booklet at the end of the digital post. You may copy that and save it to your computer for your own files. Again, please do not re post in its entirety.

While I am not trying to control who does see it, I think there might be folks who we don’t want to know we have full access to it.

To Access Birthmother, Good  Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption

To access Birthmother, Good Mother; Her Story of Heroic Redemption click here.

Thank you for your cooperation and I hope you get what you were looking for out of Birthmother, Good  Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption. I would say “enjoy” but I do not think that is possible.

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Claudia Corrigan DArcy

About Claudia Corrigan DArcy

Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.
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3 Responses to Birthmother, Good Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption

  1. Pingback: I'm Not Convinced, Changing My Mind, or Shutting Up About Adoption |

  2. Kathleen Moran Indianapolis, IN says:

    Excellent work Claudia!

  3. Pingback: The Act of Redemption in the Adoption Process | Musings of the Lame

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