Where I am Personally Offended by AdoptHelp and then They Fix It!

AdoptHelp.com marketing theift

7/3/13

This post went live on the morning of July 2, 2013 in it’s original version. I had begun working on it the week before, but was giving a chance to AdoptHelp to get back to me before I posted it. That did not happen and so, I said ‘The hell with it” and push send. I tweeted it and put it on their Facebook page and then went about my day.

Later on, while I was cooking dinner I received a phone call from AdoptHelp. It was actually a very cordial conversation where they acknowledged that they had seen my post and thanked me for calling attention to it. They apologized for the marketing blunder and stated that they had not been aware of my branding and had no intention of co-oping my images to confuse people.

Most importantly to me, is that they also put their money where their mouths are and had already requested that the ads be pulled from Adoption.com.

I actually DO appreciate that and so I volunteered to edit the original post to reflect upon that.  Hence, I shall edit the original post URL here as well to remove some of the more negative accusations. However, this edited version is on the original URL so that the comments stand.

Where AdoptHelp.com Uses Rosie the Riveter Images and I Freak Out

OK I know that I am not the first person to use a play off the Rosie the Riveter images. I understand that this is an iconic image that has been co-opted in many ways since Pittsburgh artist J. Howard Miller created the famous “We Can Do It!” image in 1942. A search of “Rosie the Riveter” images quickly shows the vast numbers of reproductions and I don’t claim to be the first.

Rosie the Riveter went pink for breast cancer.

breast_cancer_rosie_the_riveter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s a well loved Rockabilly type image recreated.

rosie the riveter repro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even Michelle Obama went “Rosie”.

michelle-obama-rosie-the-riveter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I personally love the “I’m so crafty, I make people” Rosie.

craftypreggo_large 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Rosie? Me the Adoption Activist

However, I am pretty damn sure that I am the first person to use a Rosie the Riveter reproduction shot as my personal adoption activist messaging in support of Adoptee Rights. I also know for a fact, that ALL my profile images use this

Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy Adoption ActivistI forget when exactly I first got the idea to do my own Rosie images for my “branding”, but  early in 2012, my darling Rye surprised me with the gift of a photo shoot with the divine Tamme Stitt Photography.  The one “shot” I wanted was a recreation of the Rosie shot which we did, it came out perfect and then I photoshopped to be the Adoptee Rights Activist image I use now.  Tamme posted the first images on 3-23-12 and I had my Rosie images up almost immediately, so I have been using this exclusively for well over a year.  I switched out all my “main” images to this shot. And while there are all too many images of me that come up when you Google my name or “FauxClaud”, my  “Rosie the Riveter”  or as I like to call it “Claud the Adoption Activist” stuff comes up first or near the top for me, which shows that it is most wildly used, hence, ranks best as “the” image of me.

I love it. I am proud of it. It says everything you need to know about me in one perfect image. I really thought that I had nothing left or the adoption industry to take from me.

I Guess I’m Not as Visible as I Thought?

While I don’t find my way over to Adoption.com often anymore, the fact is, I do have eyes everywhere. Even eyes that belong to people that I have never met ( yet!) or people that I don’t know, who kindly look out for me, make suggestions and throw things my way. Rhonda was one of them this week. Thank you,  Rhonda! She sent me this image from an ADOPTION AGENCY ad found on Adoption.com:

Adopt Help steals marketing ideas

It’s also a banner ad and a big  one  that pregnancy info page as well as the original that she found that was a pop-up ad:

AdoptHelp.com marketing theift

AdoptHelp continues to rape mothers

I was informed that AdopteHelp.com though this idea all by themselves and had no intention of using my branding concepts. While I did find it quite unlikely that they did not see my image and decide to co-op it, I have been known to be wrong and am not too big to admit it.

Now, of course, they say that imitation is the finest form of flattery, but I DID see it as trying to use MY IMAGE to further their efforts of separating mothers and babies for adoption profits. I DID see it as trying to confuse people as to what I stand for. I DID see it as somehow making it look like *I* support  their efforts.  And in case you haven’t got a clue;

I DO NOT SUPPORT ADOPT HELP!!! ( I still do not!)

Shall we count the ways that AdoptHelp is a first class example of everything that we hate about the corrupt adoption industry?  Why yes, I think we shall.. even if they have agreed to do the right thing and have the ads removed. As I said, I DO rally appreciate that, but I still have to hate what they do!

So, first off let’s look at the “landing page” for this ad: http://www.adopthelp.com/pregnant/  I can see that they are big on keywords and must have had someone do SEO for their site..badly, I might add.

“We offer every type of adoption plan from closed to open and everything in between including newborn adoptiondomestic adoption, and pregnant adoption and ensure that you make all decisions concerning your adoption plan. “

I laugh as I see the ‘pregnant adoption’ keyword link that goes to the main url. Why include a word that doesn’t make sense? Because Google told them it was highly searched keyword and they have an idiot writing their copy.  Yeah, the happy smiling woman is the face of every potential birthmother.

It is Not an Adoption Agency

Yes, I can nitpick more, but I am more interested in who is behind this  site.  So I go to the About Us area and finds the happy smiling faces of the AdoptHelp staff..and start to see that they don’t look much like the typical adoption agency, it reads more like a law firm. Funny, because really it IS a law firm. In fact, I find this:

Mark Goldman is the founder of AdoptHelp Law Center, a full service adoption law firm located in Sherman Oaks, California, and AdoptHelp, Inc., a national birth mother advertising and outreach program.”

What looks like an adoption agency, advertises like an adoption agency but really isn’t an adoption agency? A national birth mother advertising and outreach program! We call them TROLLING FOR BABIES. Professional trollers!! I’m going to leave this here. I am still completely morally and ethically opposed to advertising to target mothers at risk when they are in their most vulnerable state!

Anyway, before the post went live, I did try to contact AdoptHelp through Facebook, their live chat and through their contact form.  None of those avenues produced results. It was my angry snarky blog post that did. Yes, I did dance around my kitchen and gloat ” NEVER underestimate the power of social media!. I was in my kitchen because the whole conversation took place while I was cooking ka-bobs for dinner. Oh, I can multitask!

Anyway, the did say that they are usually much better at getting back to people but they had kids off at the special Olympics ( good cause!) and so they were all out of the office. OK. I can take that.

AdoptHelp DID the Right Thing by Me, but Still Not for Mothers at Risk

I still have huge issues with what information they are giving out on their website. Let’s go to their “blog” and this super informative “birthmother question“:

Birth Mother Question: I was just wondering if you get any feedback from birth mothers a year or two after placement regarding their outlook on adoption and their decision to place?

As a birth mother who placed a baby through AdoptHelp two years ago, Mark asked me to answer this question. I have spoken with many birth mothers who have placed over the years through my support group on the Web. The good news is that I am not aware of any birth mothers who regret their decision. I have talked with some who wished that they weren’t in the position they were in. Then again, I also have talked to women who have placed twice, who couldn’t be happier because there was no other option in their opinion. Every woman, no matter what their story, although they have had their hard times, does not for a single second regret what they did. They know they did what was best for their child, and they respect their story. It has changed more lives than one, and as birth mom’s, that’s what we strive for. Changing not only the lives of our child, but the life of the parent or parents that will love and nourish our child. From my experience, most birth mothers have the same outlook; they are proud and stand with their heads held high!

Oh my effing god…

You are not AWARE of birthmother regrets? And what rock have you been hiding under? What flavor is your adoption kool-aid??

Couldn’t be HAPPIER after placing TWICE?? Did they get curiosity lobotomies too?

Please excuse me while I go beat my head against the nearest brick wall.

( yes, the brick wall still applies)

No Trademark, No Recourse? Blog it!

I know I do not “own” any rights to using a Rosie the Riveter type of image, so it was cool of them to comply to my ranting. It was also a smart PR move. I’ll give them credit for that, but.. sorry.. I still do not appreciate how you make your money by separating mothers and children for profits.

About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

8 Comments on "Where I am Personally Offended by AdoptHelp and then They Fix It!"

  1. Barbara Thavis | July 2, 2013 at 3:45 pm |

    You go after, them, Claud. Every last bastard out there. Good work!

  2. Because I’m a wise ass and had some free time this evening, I decided to test out this chat. But I took a different approach, I pretended I was an EMom looking for information on their services. Below is the exchange I had:

    Operator says: Hi! Welcome to AdoptHelp.com. How may I help you today?

    Visitor says: I’m looking for info on how to place my baby

    Operator says: Hi

    Operator says: My name is Mia and I am one of the caseworkers.

    Operator says: Do you have any particular questions for me?

    Visitor says: Yes, do you provide any counseling services to deal with any post placement grief

    Operator says: We absolutely do.

    Visitor says: For how long are those services offered post placement

    Operator says: And you can choose the counselor you want to see.

    Operator says: It can be arranged for as long as you need the grief counseling

    Visitor says: How is need defined? Is that determined by the agency or my need?

    Operator says: It is determined by your needs.

    Operator says: Are you seeing a counselor now in regards to your plans to place your child for adoption?

    Visitor says: What educational offerings do you have regarding my options to either place or if my decision is to parent?

    Operator says: We work with professionals throughout the country (counselors, social workers, etc.) specifically trained in counseling birth parents about their plans to place a child for adoption or discuss options about how they would be able to parent a child.

    Operator says: As a caseworker, I try and help you, as a birth parent, figure out a way for you to parent. There are state programs we can look into regarding that. Those programs who will financially help you (I believe MediCaid and/or MediCal offer such programs). At times, adoption may not be your only option.

    Visitor says: Thank you for your feedback

    Operator says: of course.

    Operator: Is there anything else I can help you with? I am happy to talk with you on the phone or you can email me if you prefer that.

    Operator: I realize even this step to chat with me online can be difficult. I will do what I can to try and help you or at least lead you to where you can get answers.

    I could have been a real pain in the ass and taken it further but I felt bad wasting this nice ladies time. So I think your issue Claudia is that you didn’t pretend you were some confused EMom. That’s why you didn’t get the interaction I did.

    • Nice, Greg!!
      I don’t know if you have seen other posts here where Iencourage other PAPs to do exactly what you did to see how these places work. Granted, their answers were actually NOT all that bad ( support for parenting.. naming SOME recourse..though I dislike the social services as the ONLY ones)) until they stated to get your contact info.. that gave me the hibeegeebees a bit.
      Have you ever played Emom and requested the “adoption information birthmother packages” THOSE are REALLY eye opening! Google Pregnant, pick the first three results, fill out their forms.. oh and makes sure you give a phone number.. then count how many times they call looking to “check in” on her “decision”. I would LOVE to hear your experience with that.
      But really.. nice!! I am really glad you joined us here. 🙂

      • You know that’s not a bad idea. I’ve just begun to vet agencies. I attended an agency webinar three weeks ago that was geared towards PAPs. They made it a point to disclose the average amount of their budget they dedicate to advertising, which seemed high to me. I was able to obtain their annual report and calculate that they spend approximately 20-25% of their budget on advertising. When I asked whether they could give me a percentage of that budget is dedicated to attracting emoms vs PAPs they were unable to do so. Although judging by where and how they advertise I am guessing most of it is geared towards emoms. However, they do provide pre and post placement counseling services for emoms and do other charity work. I was impressed with their website that on the “pregnant” page discussed all options for unplanned pregnancies including parenting and abortion. In fact parenting is the first option they list before adoption. So I’m up in the air on my feelings on them.

        But it was just the first agency I looked at and have nothing else to compare it to yet. I’ll have a better idea of how they compare after I’ve vetted a few more agencies. I may take your advice on pretending to be the eparent to see how they approach.

  3. I was horrified when I saw this image used in an adoption ad. The “you/we can do it” message changed to “My plan, My way” is just so wrong that I had to believe they were using it to poke you in the eye. Plus, it is a clear rip off of your interpretation. The “we can do it” message is the exact opposite of “let us sell your baby for you and we’ll pretend that it’s about you.” Worse yet, these are the very groups that oppose open records and general adoption reform.

    I also spend very little time on adoption.com these days. I poke in once in a while to read and see what’s trending from adoptive parents. I was unpleasantly surprised to see the use of pop up advertising in their birth parent support section; I was even more frustrated to learn that when similar advertising was deployed in the adoptive parents sections they complained enough that it was shut down. First parents were told to get over it…

    • We did NOT have to get over this time! Thanks to your help.. we should not be seeing these ads again!
      Rhonda for the #win!!

  4. Sleaze is their biz.

Comments are closed.