February 2014

Same Sex Couples: Don’t Let Your Equality Turn You Into Oppressors

If you believe that you need, want, desire, have a right to, can only accept, are entitled, or even have made a “choice” that an infant though domestic infant adoption (or surrogacy) is the way to go, then please let me warn you that you are in great danger of becoming exactly what you have fought against for so long. You are entering a slippery slope where you are in great danger of becoming the oppressor.





Birthmother Commentary: On and Off Line

If birthmothers had to be identified all the live long day some people might find the need to pelt us with rocks or at least, if one was ever to take seriously what one reads online, hurl vast insults and barbed comments as we went about our days. I could see a lot of us spending a lot of time in tears because what people say out of fear or weird anger or ignorance or just plain judgment can be really harsh.


Birthmother Gaslighting Manipulation by the Adoption Industry

I know many birthmothers who have “chosen” to relinquish a child to adoption have great difficulty explaining the very subtle coercion and thought process that goes into it. It’s not so obvious to be called brainwashing. It is often not forceful enough to be openly accepted as coercion. We don’t even know or want to call ourselves “victims”. Is it the sophisticated manipulation tactic known as “Gaslighting”?


Don’t Tell Me What To Do…and Other Things I Think

We, as adoptees, are demanding respect today, in a show of strength like never before. Our strength lies in our togetherness; our united voice. It is important to play fair and be kind, as everyone’s experience is different and VALID. Please think about that before you tear someone’s head off.


Rainbow Unicorns and The Mythical Birthmother Who Wants to Relinquish Her Child

If there are other options that CAN BE sought BEFORE adoption, then the adoption itself, not matter how happy anyone claims to be, is a tragedy. “What about the mothers who truly aren’t able to parent?” If we want adoption to really be a good thing, ethical, and used as it should then we have to then ask, ‘What is the obstacle in her way that is making it less than idea for this mother to parent this baby?



What NOT to do when Speaking About Adoptee Rights ESPECIALLY to Legislators

The Fight for Adoptee Rights is about CIVIL and HUMAN rights first and foremost. The opposition wants to make it all about reunion, but it is NOT. We do not demand that adoptees are restored access to their OBC because they want to find mommy, we demand it because adoptees deserve to be treated the same as non adopted. What an adopted person then DOES with their OBC is their choice.. so reunion is secondary. When we tell long stories about insane searches & happy reunions, then we feed into the mythology that the opposition wants. Do not DO IT!!


New York State Public Hearing for Adoptee Rights; 1-31- 14

If the average number of friends every Facebook user has is 130, then 10,000 shares means that over 1 million three hundred people can be viewing the intimate details of a birthmothers “hidden” pregnancy before she is found by the one person who is looking for her. New York State’s A909bill would allow the communications between a birthmother and her adopted child to be exactly that – a communication between the parents and the adoptee.