July 2006

Death….

I received one of those horrible phone calls yesterday afternoon. A friend of Rye’s called for Rye, who was at work, to relay that another close friend of theirs had committed suicide just hours ago. I had to call my husband at work and tell him that Danny had blown his brains out. I knew, upon hearing the message that this would be a huge thing, this force would descend…


The Surgeon General’s Report on the Public Health Effects of Abortion

In 1987, President Reagan asked the Surgeon General to report on the medical and psychological impact of abortion on women. The report was expected by some Presidential advisors to have negative implications for Roe versus Wade, since that Supreme Court decision was based in part on the medical benefits of abortion compared to carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term. HHS set aside $200,000 from other projects for the abortion report,…


Lost…

This is a bit that just spewed out in reply to to a thread on SoA regarding the use of the word “Lost” as to “my son was lost to adoption”. It is a really interesting thread..five pages currently if you need a bit of deep summer reading.Anyway..I think it can stand on it’s own here. It’s mostly to a new mom now who was commenting on how the word…


rambling on…changes, and some bugs

So things have been their usual nuttyness here. It was Garin’s birthday on Tuesday and I got to take him and three of his pals to Albany to go to the skatepark there. It was hot..and the place had no A/C and neither does my car. ANd I sat there for 5 hours and read “Adoption Nation”..most of it. And sweated. Tell me I am a good mom. My poor…


My favorite place on earth..

The kids and I did an adventure day yesterday. It seems the “must rain every day” thing has passed. That’s Ok as it was like 7 weeks of it. And I am trying to find fun, but cheap things to do with them as it is summer and I must get out of the house sometimes.. So we went to Awosting Falls yesterday… I find this place so magical. It…


Dateline Inspired

For anyone who missed the show…pretty much the whole thing is on the websight as linked above. I, of course was inspired, And though a beautiful helping hand, my letter went to a senior producer and I got to drop a name, though I have editted that out for the world to see here. —————————————– I watched the show tonight though a completely different perspective than the general target audience….


I chose an eternity of this……..

This is what happens when I decide that it’s a good idea to listen to The Cure. Not new snappy Cure, but old dark, Pornography. And so on the way to work, I listen to the lyrics, and I hear the first line. And it is like being slapped in the face. Stings. I am feeling dark. The Cure is dark. This is eddited Cure lyrics, bits reapplied, songs mixed….


It’s funny what inspires me…

and I never really know what pushes me to take the next step in this journey. Sometimes I can see it…I see the next portion looming in front of me..like Stairs leading someplace that I need to get to. And I know I must do so, but I cannot. And oh, how I mull it over in my brain..play it out like a bad record, yet still frozen. I must…


Where am i??

I think I am kind of lost right now. I just feel…removed somehow. Maybe it is a seasonal thing? I was off the the boards, off adoption, alot last summer, but I chalked that up to Garin’s impeding surgery..but again, I feel it now. I have a sense of bordom, of restlessness. Stalemate. Come to think of it, that’s probably a direct reflection on my relationship with Max. Yes, dear…


…….some days are just GOOD………..

Gas, Gatoraide and snacky crackers at gas station $38.76 Toll for Kingston Rhinecliff bridge $1 A sunny sunday afternoon, just me and my younger two, walking the fields and woods along the Hudson River at Poet’s Walk. $0 While sitting in a branch bench by an old stone bridge, Tristan points out a doe walking though the woods, watching her together, silent, awed…priceless.