So Scarlett’s birthday is tomorrow. I went out today..nothing like the last minute momma, and bought her a bicycle. I hadn’t really intended to buy her a bike, but it turns out it is a good thing. I was thinking a new play kitchen as we ditched the defunct Barbie kitchen to the front porch where maybe some Sunday someone besides me might actually bring ot out to the curb,…
She cleaned a mean house and laundry got done on schedule. And oh, could that woman shop!!! Shopping with my mother was a religious experience. Macy’s with my Mom on their “One Day Sales”…we would run to the register laden with bargains. The cashier’s worst nightmare.
Sometimes, it comes with the birth of a second child that makes us realize what motherhood means, what was truly lost, what is gone forever.
Sometimes, it just comes with maturity. We become less self absorbed and see what we decided does not just effect us, does not just “build a family” that makes us feel good, but that the loss continues to grow and effect others in our lives in ways we could not see.
I tell the pregnant and considering adoption to look beyond the immediate. Not just at NOW, but at later.
Ok, so we have this fishtank that my mother in law got for my youngest when he turned two. We couldn’t keep a fish alive in there for anything. We must have spent a huge sum of money on buying fish, and then gave up. And it sat empty. So at one point this summer, we went fishing with the kids and bought minnows. We didn’t end up using them…
I find this very amusing that I have documented my first awareness of Adam Pertman. I did actually call him the “devil” and I really did want to hate him. For the record, I do not hate Adam Pertman at all.
Will you document the Mothers who were lied to and forced to lose the children they so desperately wanted, or will you only show the few happy reunions of such broken women? Will you discuss the issues and problems of current adoption practices that do not really honor the bond between mother and child and how to make things better, or will you just show the smiling faces of the “happy good birthmother” and promote more adoptions for a 13 billion dollar industry?
And while I am at it..you tea drinkers. We just hate you. All of us. Every waiter and waitress all over. Tea sucks. The NY Times said it. They did a survey. Tea is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I have to put the loose tea in the tea bag, temper your pot, heat your cup, guess if you want honey or lemon or milk or sugar…
I am really am sorry that there was too much angst for you to feel like you could hear the message behind “anti-adoption” sentiment. You sound like a very sincere person and like one I personally would like to have on the side of fighting for human rights.
It’s her son’s birthday this week. That haunting look just flickered quickly though her eyes when she told me. No one could have noticed the quiver in her voice. I saw it. I know what a birthday means.
“When do you usually crash?” I asked her.
“I’ll get hit on Wednesday” she replied.
Once upon a time I hadn’t yet gone to an adoption conference and I didn’t know how to make a hyperlink! Pretty funny!
Sometimes things are just not controllable Birth control is not infallible. Some infertility is not fixable. Hyper fertility is not always fixable either. I do my best to control it, but all I need is one sperm. You know, they are really, really little. Kinda hard to find and catch sometimes. Slippery little buggers with only one thing on their mind. In over 20 years, I missed 8. I have a normal sex life…how many of those guys have I seen a week, a year, in the past twenty years? Eight out of 200 million kabillion is NOT a bad ratio.
If you think that infant adoption is a benevolent social service, then reading the highlights of a job description appearing in the Wall Street Journal’s Executive Career Site online for an “Adoption Recruiter” might change your mind. Originally posted by the Boys and Girls Aid Society of Oregon, this detailed job description reveals the aggressive marketing strategies used by adoption agencies and proves that babies are marketable products used to generate agency revenue
Since he would be 18, he could open up his records..if he desired. And if he did that, then he could “find” me and we could be “official” and then completely manage to avoid telling his folks that this has now been happening already for almost 7 months. Really, at this point all I wanted to do was avoid getting them upset and get him out form the burden of secrets.
I just realized that I have been “tagged” so here goes: What were you doing 10 years ago? I was still living in my cute little apartment in the middle of the boonies and being a single mommy to one, though I had started working for he interior design firm and was phasing out the restaurant world. I was in legal limbo waiting out both my divorce from P, and…
Look at this face of the one you would die for. Feel that love that you have for them..full force..and imagine the source of that delight, that joy, was gone from your life. Not dead, just unreachable. Forever for all you know. Completely out of your control and grasp.