Building Bridges to Truth

You Can Call Me Anti-Adoption If You Must

Often, because I spend much of my time & energy pointing out the negative aspects of adoption, I have been called “anti-adoption”. The very concept of those two words applied together — “anti” and “adoption” — are met with disbelief. But before you are horrified and that title is cast upon my head like a noose, I would like to explain what the words, anti-adoption, mean in my world, You might just find that you agree. read more…

Adoption Facts Demand Infant Adoption Reformation

I don’t care about how you got by my side, who you are, color, creed, place in the triad, age or adoption era; all I care about is if you are at my side or not. We all need to work together, use our collective voice, and cry out to fix adoption. Face the facts about adoption, then you must demand ethical reformation. read more…

Exposing the Rotting Foundation of the Adoption Industry

The Truth About the Adoption Industry

If you think you know what Adoption is all about, please think again. While we WANT to believe adoption is about "finding homes' for "unwanted children" the truth is that Adoption in the USA is big business. Before you believe that adoption is "different" now, or start telling me about heartwarming stories, please read some of the posts that tell the truth about the Adoption Industry. It's not about being a "non-profit" or helping women making choices about their unplanned pregnancies. Adoption is about money and marketing.

Help Fight For Adoptee Rights!

In the US, 48 states continue the practice of sealing adopted children’s original birth certificates (the OBC) upon finalization of the adoption. In almost 40 states, adult adoptees do not have unrestricted access to their OBC like other people do. Unless that Adoptee is in Alaska, Kansas, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Illinois, Washington, Oregon, Tennessee, Washington State, Ohio or Alabama then that adoptee might never see the record of their birth. Treating an adopted person differently than another is a form of discrimination.

For Birthmothers and Expectant Mothers Considering Adoption

The Birthmother Rules that were provided to us was a bunch of untried hopeful theories based on now debunked beliefs regarding the human psyche. If life as a birthmother has not worked out the way the adoption professionals told you, that's because they lied. How you are feeling is normal and you are not alone. We have a community where we support and learn from each other sharing what we wish we had known before we placed our babies for adoption and began the path down towards a life of loss and grief.

Adoption Research and Statistics

In the United States, there is not a central body that is collecting accurate adoption statistics. There is not one single organization that actually collects data from all the different adoption agencies. Various facts and numbers float around and if they get repeated often enough, they are accepted as “facts about adoption”. Sometimes the source is lost and cannot be verified. Actual scientific research on adoption related issues is frequently hard to find. Almost every study concludes that “further studies are needed”.
Being involved in the adoption community and writing for this blog has been the single most fulfilling thing that has happened in SPITE of the lifetime of loss and grief that began when I called the adoption agency. I started writing for me. It’s how I process what this life as a birthmother is like. Where this has taken me has been an incredible journey. I have met some of the most wonderful people in the world and I get to call them my friends. I have gone to places I would never have gone to on my own. And, the biggest honor and gift of all is knowing that somehow, someway, I might have helped someone. If I can touch one person at a time, that gives me the fuel to carry on.

While there are many adoption blogs, it's not always easy to find a birthparent blog. Musings of the Lame is a blog about adoption from the viewpoint of a domestic adoption birthmother.

Chances are if you have found your way here then you are:
  • looking to adopt
  • have adopted a child
  • are trying to find your birthparents
  • are looking to understand your own birthmother more
  • are pregnant and considering adoption
  • or you have relinquished your baby to adoption

  • I hope you can find what you need here or maybe find information that you don't think you need. Please take your time, look around, read a while.

    Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her son's adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.

    Adoption is a very isolating experience. If you have felt alone in your feelings, wondered if anyone else felt this way or can't believe that there is another side of adoption............then Welcome Home.

    Calling All Ohio Adoptees

    By AstridBeeMom

    As you may have read in my previous posts, my friend, Joey Ashbridge, is doing a documentary about the upcoming unsealing of adoption records in Ohio. For this project, he is in need of Ohio adoptees that would be willing to do interviews with him via Skype. If you or someone you know would be interested in helping out, please contact Joey on his public Facebook group, “Who Am I?” or contact me here to put you in touch with him. Please share this far and wide to get the word out for Joey!! Thank you!!

    Click here to see Joey’s video message and visit his group or watch the video below:

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    Read at the Source: : Musings of a Birthmom

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    Paving a Path to Adoption

    As I type this right now, it has occurred to me that I do not recall one single time when any one of my family members ever sat down with me and really asked how I was doing. Not even after I ran away and my whole family was involved in that. No wonder I was looking for love in the wrong places and I ran into the arms of that adoption agency. At least they acted like they cared and I was literally starving. read more…

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    A Birthmother’s Worst Nightmare – Aundria Bowman/Alexis Badger

    By AstridBeeMom Missing Persons Flyer

    Today I am going to tell you a heartbreaking story. A story so sensational that you would think it was the makings of some fancy Hollywood screenwriter. I only wish this was the case.

    A few posts back I touched a little bit on ambiguous loss. To help you understand it better I compared it to the loss one may feel when a loved one goes missing. To further explore this topic, I have asked a fellow birthmother, Cathy Terkanian, to allow me to share her story. We have done an informal interview of sorts and it is my honor for you to be a part of her story and possibly help to share her story in hopes that her heart may finally find peace.

    On June 23, 1974, when Cathy was 17 years old, she became the mother of Alexis. A bouncing baby girl, the joy of Cathy’s life. Perfect in every way and loved just as perfectly by her mother, Cathy. Alexis was born in Louisiana and shortly thereafter Cathy headed back to Virginia where her mother read more…

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    Get Syndicated on Musings of the Lame

    I think most of us write because we have something valid to say and we do want to share our point of view. That’s important as all our voices matter, but the things is, of course, it only works if someone else actually sees our words and reads them. And that’s what syndication on MOTL can do; you WILL get more people reading your words. This isn’t about tooting my own horn, but the fact is that this site usually ranks number one nationally in Google for many relevant and important search terms. And yes, there is that simple fact that over a third of a million pages, 377,378 URLs to be exact, were seen on the site here in 2014. Most “posts” initially are seen by approximately 1000 readers. However, I can also say that I know there is a direct correlation between the number of posts and the amount of views; more posts generates way more traffic- so in this way the system continues to feed itself!

    Are you in? Please?

    All I Need is Your Feed read more…

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    Ohio Adoption Records Law Opening Day Event in Columbus

    What: Opening Day in Ohio! Adoptees can file for their OBCs!
    Where: Columbus, Ohio
    When: March 19 and 20th, 2015
    Who: Adoption Network Cleveland.
    Why: Because they changed the laws! They ROARed! read more…

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