Building Bridges to Truth

You Can Call Me Anti-Adoption If You Must

Often, because I spend much of my time & energy pointing out the negative aspects of adoption, I have been called “anti-adoption”. The very concept of those two words applied together — “anti” and “adoption” — are met with disbelief. But before you are horrified and that title is cast upon my head like a noose, I would like to explain what the words, anti-adoption, mean in my world, You might just find that you agree. read more…

Adoption Facts Demand Infant Adoption Reformation

I don’t care about how you got by my side, who you are, color, creed, place in the triad, age or adoption era; all I care about is if you are at my side or not. We all need to work together, use our collective voice, and cry out to fix adoption. Face the facts about adoption, then you must demand ethical reformation. read more…

Exposing the Rotting Foundation of the Adoption Industry

The Truth About the Adoption Industry

If you think you know what Adoption is all about, please think again. While we WANT to believe adoption is about "finding homes' for "unwanted children" the truth is that Adoption in the USA is big business. Before you believe that adoption is "different" now, or start telling me about heartwarming stories, please read some of the posts that tell the truth about the Adoption Industry. It's not about being a "non-profit" or helping women making choices about their unplanned pregnancies. Adoption is about money and marketing.

Help Fight For Adoptee Rights!

In the US, 48 states continue the practice of sealing adopted children’s original birth certificates (the OBC) upon finalization of the adoption. In almost 40 states, adult adoptees do not have unrestricted access to their OBC like other people do. Unless that Adoptee is in Alaska, Kansas, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Illinois, Washington, Oregon, Tennessee, Washington State, Ohio or Alabama then that adoptee might never see the record of their birth. Treating an adopted person differently than another is a form of discrimination.

For Birthmothers and Expectant Mothers Considering Adoption

The Birthmother Rules that were provided to us was a bunch of untried hopeful theories based on now debunked beliefs regarding the human psyche. If life as a birthmother has not worked out the way the adoption professionals told you, that's because they lied. How you are feeling is normal and you are not alone. We have a community where we support and learn from each other sharing what we wish we had known before we placed our babies for adoption and began the path down towards a life of loss and grief.

Adoption Research and Statistics

In the United States, there is not a central body that is collecting accurate adoption statistics. There is not one single organization that actually collects data from all the different adoption agencies. Various facts and numbers float around and if they get repeated often enough, they are accepted as “facts about adoption”. Sometimes the source is lost and cannot be verified. Actual scientific research on adoption related issues is frequently hard to find. Almost every study concludes that “further studies are needed”.
Being involved in the adoption community and writing for this blog has been the single most fulfilling thing that has happened in SPITE of the lifetime of loss and grief that began when I called the adoption agency. I started writing for me. It’s how I process what this life as a birthmother is like. Where this has taken me has been an incredible journey. I have met some of the most wonderful people in the world and I get to call them my friends. I have gone to places I would never have gone to on my own. And, the biggest honor and gift of all is knowing that somehow, someway, I might have helped someone. If I can touch one person at a time, that gives me the fuel to carry on.

While there are many adoption blogs, it's not always easy to find a birthparent blog. Musings of the Lame is a blog about adoption from the viewpoint of a domestic adoption birthmother.



Chances are if you have found your way here then you are:
  • looking to adopt
  • have adopted a child
  • are trying to find your birthparents
  • are looking to understand your own birthmother more
  • are pregnant and considering adoption
  • or you have relinquished your baby to adoption

  • I hope you can find what you need here or maybe find information that you don't think you need. Please take your time, look around, read a while.


    Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her son's adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.


    Adoption is a very isolating experience. If you have felt alone in your feelings, wondered if anyone else felt this way or can't believe that there is another side of adoption............then Welcome Home.


    Cannibalism in AdoptionLand

    If anyone has a legitimate question and is willing to accept what I can share with them, then by all means I am more than willing to dispel any confusion or doubts. Anyone else, please get the fuck out of my way. I know who you are and I am aware now that you are no friend of mine, so pardon me if I don’t ask nicely twice and just push you aside;
    I have work to do and you have already wasted way too much of my time. read more…

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    865 Pages of Transcripts to Bring Camden Home!

    The finial cost estimate for what is needed is 179, 317, and 379 pages at $5.50 a page. I’ll save you the math; it’s $4,700.00 and really should be ordered as soon as possible, like next week.
    So, are we ready to make a miracle happen again? You help and support during this has been nothing short of amazing and only with YOU have we been able to keep this moving along. It’s not Adoption. It’s not Gentle. It’s not Care.
    With your help, we can fight this and make it right. I know we can. I believe in us all. read more…

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    Hey Media Folks- Anyone Want a REAL Story for National Adoption Month?

    With National Adoption Month coming up in November, I am sure your publication is preparing heartwarming tales to highlight adoption. I would like to tell you about a story that doesn’t fall under the normal feel good, but is instead, a complete fallacy of everything we want to celebrate about adoption. It is a story about corrupting and the abuses of power. It is a story about a mother in crisis having that vulnerability exploited, trusting the wrong people and then fighting a system that wants to shut her down. The world needs to know about such injustices happening in the name of adoption. This is not adoption. It is the forcible separation of a family based on a wrongly interpreted law and repeated illegal acts. read more…

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    Adoption Book Review: “Birth Mother” by Denise Emanuel Clemen

    What I love the most about Denise Emanuel Clemen’s memoir “Birth Mother” is that it is ONLY the pregnancy and immediate adoption experience that she tells. Just as the reader has so many unanswered questions and wonders, the birthmother is left always wondering about her child and the child is left wondering about the mother. It is that complete separation that makes this story so powerful. read more…

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    This is YOUR Appeal and I Thank You

    And I am thrilled to say that Carri’s amazing legal team did indeed file the Notice of Appeal in Ohio’s tenth district Court of Appeals this morning.
    The door to justice was about to lock shut and all of us, we threw our bodies into the that door and shoved out feet in that crack and now, that door shall remain open. read more…

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